I.Have.Boys.

You would think that after the birth of our first or second son I would've accepted and embraced the fact that I have boys.  Most certainly after finding out that the third was male as well.  Not so.

It wasn't because I was disappointed by their gender, or because deep down I longed for a girl.  Not at all.  After experiencing the loss of two children through miscarriage I will forever be grateful for the miracle of life, male or female.  

My oblivion was more due to the fact that I was raised in a home with all girls, aside from my father-whom I greatly respect for enduring our tears, constant chatter and make-up.  Four girls, one bathroom.  It still baffles my husband when, on holidays, we all cram into that same bathroom.  One in the shower, one doing her hair or make-up and the other 2-3 just there for the 'constant chatter'.

  

I love my sisters, and my mom.  I never imagined the possibility of never raising a daughter; why would I?!?  In saying that, please do not assume we're 'done' having children.  We're not, but that's not what this post is about.

Somewhere in the midst of a recent nursing session with our newest 'itty-bitty' I came to and realized my reality.  As I soaked in the truck noises and watched our middle son scale the bunk bed, taking the most dangerous, least conventional route possible I realized- I.Have.Boys. It took a few days for me to mull this over, as if I had some sort of control over it. 

Once I had finally accepted this mission, this calling, a sort of panic set in.  The questions came: what now? how do I raise boys? how do I love boys with compassion and sensitivity, yet respect their energy and masculinity? how do I keep food on the table with ravenous teenage boys? how do I convince them that deoderant is 'good' and dirt is 'bad'? how?

While I still have a few years to learn to cook like Michelle Duggar or live with stinky middle school-aged boys, the shaping, molding and disciplining starts NOW.  Ultimately, the word of God is my 'guidebook' for raising these boys to become the men He created them to be; and my husband will lead our home, adding his masculinity and wisdom.  I am excited for both of these to influence our home, but I felt like I still needed a crash course- a small peek into the mind of the male gender, to better help me understand why motorcycles are so cool and why focusing and listening is so hard.  So, I checked out Bringing Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson from the library.

I haven't finished reading it, so I won't fully endorse it quite yet, or even go so far as to recommend it, but I will say that what little I have read has opened my eyes to a world I never knew and will never understand.

Here is a short quote from it that made me cringe, and left me in wonder. 

"That brings us back to our understanding of boys.  Remember that they are men-in-training.  Their aggressive nature is designed for a purpose.  It prepares them for the "provision and protection" roles to come.  That assertiveness also builds culture when properly channeled.  I urge you as parents not to resent or to try to eliminate the aggressive and excitable nature that can be so irritating.  That temperament is part of a divine plan.  Celebrate it.  Enjoy it.  Thank God for it.  But also understand that it needs to be shaped, molded, and "civilized". "

My personal prayers as a mother have been more of a plea as of late.  I pray that I will embrace this 'assignment' with passion, vigor, wisdom, and perseverance...all of which only He can provide.

I.Have.Boys.