Am I Grateful?

This morning I learned that an acquaintance will be induced to have her baby girl, Olivia, today. I do not know her personally, they attend our church, but so do a lot of other people. Our paths have never crossed, and we've never spoken. I only know her as a result of tragedy and through a brutal reminder that we live in a fallen world, that we live in a world of sin, death, illness, and wrongs. Katie is her name. At 20 weeks her baby girl was diagnosed with Trisomy 18, a severe and deadly diagnosis. She and her husband, Bryce, were informed that Olivia would most likely die before being carried to full term, but if not, 99.9percent of babies with Trisomy 18 die shortly after being born. Olivia is now full term.

Please take this moment to pray for Bryce, Katie and baby Olivia. If you're reading this after today, still pray. God knows no bounds of time. He allows us to intercede through prayer, just as Moses did for the Israelites. Please take this time to pray for this family. I don't know how to pray, and I'm guessing you don't either. Pray as you feel led, your words will not be in vain, they will not go unheard.

After reading the email with the update on Olivia, I scooped both boys up and hugged them tight, kissing their faces multiple times. I kissed Micah's cheek so many times that he said, "Mommy, what doin'?"

As I nursed my sweet one year old to sleep I was struck,

AM I GRATEFUL?

Am I grateful for these two children?

After experiencing two heart-breaking, life-altering miscarriages I feel like I will always be grateful for the miracle of life, but day to day, am I grateful for the lives that have been entrusted to the care of my husband and me?

Am I grateful for my stubbed toes and pierced heels that have tread upon scattered Hot Wheels and Duplo blocks?

Am I grateful for the endless mis-matched socks, their partners hiding under couches, in car seats, and behind bunk beds?

Am I grateful for tears? The tears produced as a result of lost teddy bears or from being forced to share toys.

Am I grateful for over-sized Blackley heads that sit upon my children's bodies? Those which have left permanent scars on this body, can't fit over certain shirts, and MUST be wearing a hat at all times?

Am I grateful for sick babies? For throw up in the car seat or constipation that brings about straining and tears every 5 minutes until relief comes?

Am I grateful for swaddled newborns, nuzzled in close, warming my chest as they rise and fall with my body?

Am I grateful for imaginations; a toddler running naked through the house with his towel draped over his head, proclaiming, "I'm Mary!"?

Am I grateful for the cries that woke me at the stinking butt-crack of dawn for over 18 months?

Am I grateful for diaper bags, sippy cups, and breast pumps?

Am I grateful for the sweet smell that comes from a freshly bathed newborn?

Am I grateful for the way these children have changed my perspective, finances, appearance?

My whole life?

Am I thankful for cheesy smiles...

And post-bath faux hawks?

Being grateful isn't something that comes natural. At least not for me. I fall into a habit of grumbling and complaining so quickly. It takes prayer, conscious effort and a total heart change to be truly grateful.

Take a moment to be grateful.

Don't feel grateful or like you don't have a reason to give thanks? Ask the Lord to change your heart, to show you perspective and how to be grateful.